A Plan for Retirement… and Life
 
I recall several years ago sitting at a crowded Lakewood watering hole with a small group of friends. The atmosphere was joyous, if not boisterous, with patrons offering comedic blunt narratives that only revelers can conjure from an entertaining football game visible on screens wrapped around the entire bar. During a stoppage in play, my friend Billy glanced around the raucous room and asked a simple question: when was the happiest time in your life? What followed was a trip down memory lane that most of us shared: rock concerts at the old stadium, trips to memorable places with our loved ones, watching our children grow, and the celebration after winning our championship baseball game all brought affirmed nods. I listened and acknowledged that those were indeed wonderful times, but had another thought. I was enjoying my teaching gig, giving public talks on a book which changed my life, fresh off an exotic overseas trip, was in love with a woman who makes my heart dance, and in a financial position that provided both security and flexibility to leave at a time of my own choosing. When the guys looked my way, I gave an answer that may have caught them all by surprise. “You know, I think the happiest time in my life just might be right now!” Now here we are a few years later as I contemplate if it’s safe to visit these same friends at the same bar to watch some playoff football games (I’m sure they’re all having the same thoughts). My, how things have changed. We have experienced two years of a pandemic that has impacted the lives of everyone on the planet. My heart still dances but my loved one sits on the opposite end of the earth with travel restrictions keeping us apart. How long nobody knows. I recently gave a book talk but it’s now harder to find venues that allow speaking engagements, and I’m still teaching but now just one class because of a decision which I made in the past year; I’m officially RETIRED. Since making that decision, I’ve had time to contemplate just what retirement means and what is in store. I’ve also found my conversations with other new retirees quite interesting to learn just how varied or difficult of an adjustment this can be. One of my friends purchased a home in Florida while another went back on a part-time basis to the stressful job he left; I think to feel a sense of belonging he may have lost after retiring. A few things I’ve learned; retirement is an adjustment and it’s up to every person to carve their own path to achieve their own happiness. So, for anyone who is either considering retirement of in the process, here are a few of my personal thoughts to share as you enter into (or consider entering) this exciting chapter in life. 1. Create a bold vision that is based upon your values. I find it interesting that we are inundated with ads for retirement, but they all seem to ignore a very key element. These ad’s focus simply on HOW MUCH money you need to retire, but ignore HOW to successfully retire. They seem to assume you’re going to simply just slowly spend away your money. The reality is, retirement offers a unique opportunity for an enhanced lifestyle that removes the chains which tie us down when the work week is the focal point of our planning. Now is the time to be bold. Ask yourself: what is important to you and what makes you truly happy. Maybe it’s as simple as spending quality time and with family and loved ones or as adventurous as planning those trips on your bucket list. For me, my vision is to marry Zhen and enjoy a simple life that enables us to travel and continue our respective artistic passions. 2. Enjoy the ride. Note that I used the term ‘vision’ in the prior step vs. ‘plan’. While planning is indeed important, I truly believe that it all begins with a vision. Someone once told me, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plan.” Meaning, we can plan all we want but the reality is that life has other things in mind which we cannot control. A vision provides a compass that guides us, and why not learn to accept and even enjoy the journey that comes along the way. After retiring from my job as a professor at Tri-C, I certainly missed the many perks that came along the way. I had a position with significant responsibility and autonomy that offered generous recognition and satisfaction. But that also came with a commitment and responsibilities that did not easily align with my vision. Retirement has not only allowed the time for submitting paperwork needed for Zhen’s visa application, but also allows for daily walks in the Metroparks (weather permitting) that offers peaceful reflection and even created friendships. As an avid basketball fan, I now have the time to attend games through a partial season ticket plan that I was never able to participate in before. The list goes on and on… For everything that I’ve lost from my full-time job, I can more than make up with a liberated schedule that is almost totally in my control. The key is… to get out and take advantage of that time vs. simply sit at home and miss out on life (note: surfing the internet DOES NOT count as getting out). 3. Seek opportunities. Among the many things I’ve observed in this game of life is that bitter people tend to complain about their bad luck while happy people count their blessings. And here is what I’ve come to realize: it’s not luck, but simply taking advantage of the many opportunities all around us. It was on one of my daily walks that I met a professor from Notre Dame college who asked me to teach a course this semester. Sure, I could always teach at Tri-C, but this is a new course, new college, and new experience that is releasing renewed creativity that I am thoroughly enjoying. With my Cavs season tickets, I’ve stumbled on the most rewarding experience. After taking a friend to the first game I felt generous and refused to allow him to pay for anything. The evening was on me. I’ve since taken my daughters and more friends with the same mindset, and the joy I receive from this is somehow even greater than the broad smiles visible on my guests. I also believe it’s more than coincidence that additional positive elements have occurred in relation with these friendships and relationships. The journey is not always easy. We are often tested and ask, why us? But by simply getting out of our comfort zones and looking at the process as a journey that provides adventure and learning, we can indeed grow and find that new opportunities are continually presented to us, even if we don’t see them right away and they almost always pop up when we least expect it. 4. Stay positive. I read an article recently that pointed to one very simple trait that is shared among people who live longer and happier lives. And that is, they stay positive with a belief and faith that their dreams will come true. None of us can predict the future, whether it be health, relationships, or the external events that happen all around us (who would have predicted this pandemic just over two years ago?). I have not seen the woman I love now for over two years, and with added restrictions in China due to the Covid outbreak, we cannot say with any certainty when we will be reunited. But we communicate every day with a certainty that we will one day be together and continue to plan for our future. My guest to an upcoming Cav’s game recently shared his difficult journey with cancer, but also firmly believes his life will return to some normalcy while he counts his blessings of a supportive family and a loving wife who he says he has never felt closer to. The truth is, just as we cannot change the past, we also cannot predict the future. But what we can do is live in the now with a principled purpose and a belief that lays the groundwork for us to actually live our respective visions. So, when is the happiest time in your life? I sincerely doubt that few if any would say now given the pandemic and other events which darken the news during these freezing winter days. However, for all of us, particularly those either retired or contemplating retirement, this can indeed be an exciting time that we will one day look back on with fond memories. When we grew personally, overcame adversity, strengthened our relationships, found the time to laugh and play and love, and embraced the journey along the path to our happy and fulfilling lives.