My Stay at Home Easter Message

The message on her Facebook post was disturbing.  A stark departure from the sunset images and inspirational words that she normally posts to brighten these long days with family and friends.  Her message on the morning of Easter Sunday, read:

I am so deeply broken from the very life I survived.  A nothing good to anyone, afraid of everyone.

I suspected that she would listen to what I had to say so I felt a strong urge to reply.  But not with the “we will get through this” or “I think you’re awesome” replies that were dropping in.  I thought it best to pause, think about this unusual time that none of us could have predicted in our wildest dreams, and reflect on why I actually found myself in a somewhat content and peaceful mood that Sunday morning. 

At this point, we were three weeks in to the stay at home measures imposed by Governor Michael DeWine, and it was becoming increasingly clear that this would become the new norm for the foreseeable future.  Who could have imagined in early March that our restaurants, bars, and cafes would be closed?  That streets once bustling with heavy traffic would now be almost empty with only a few isolated pedestrians walking their dogs or taking a solitary walk.  With virtually all patrons and workers in the few essential stores that were still open now donning face masks.  To the sports enthusiasts, who could have imagined that our beloved March Madness would simply disappear into thin air, our NBA season abruptly stopped, and the baseball season on hold.  And it’s not only here, it’s all around the world. I mean when soccer matches are stopped around the globe and the long-awaited Summer Olympic games are postponed, there is something very strange happening that most of us never could have imagined.  Yet, here we are, almost one month in and peering through a long tunnel desperate for a glimmer of light at the other end. 

My phone alerted me to a message from Poland’s Ambassador to Italy, Anna Maria Anders, quite different from the disturbing Facebook message:

Happy Easter …. I did not expect to be sunning on the terrace at the Embassy on Easter Sunday and having my lunch prepared by my driver who is also cut off from family and friends.  Anyway, it was quite a feast with a bottle of bubbly and I am on my way to a Mediterranean suntan ….Love to all esp. Dad.

I am well aware of the disappointment that Ambassador Anders is currently facing.  A year of planning for events to celebrate the 50-year anniversary of her father’s death have been postponed.  Vanished into thin air are days of well-planned events to celebrate a beloved Polish hero for the world to see, complete with an evening concert that was sure to be both emotional and memorable.  Yet here she was, enjoying a unique opportunity to get away from her normal hectic lifestyle to enjoy some simple time alone.  I admired her outlook and smiled at how she always refers to my father as simply Dad, symbolizing how our friendship has evolved into one that can best be described as family.

Feeling the warmth of the Mediterranean, I gazed outside and observed several clumps of bright yellow daffodils in the yard, along with clusters of hyacinths and other colorful flowers.  Why not cut up some flowers and share with my father to brighten up his home?  This was not going to be a typical Easter Sunday, so perhaps these flowers will be even more appreciated than normal.  

It was certainly not a typical Easter Sunday, yet I’m quite certain that outside of my youth, this one will be the most memorable.  There were only four of us seated far apart at two tables in the adjoining  kitchen and dining rooms.  Following dinner, we listened to Andrea Bocelli’s live performance, imagining tables of loved ones simultaneously enjoying this beautiful music all around the globe.

Following the concert, we adjourned to the family room where for the first Easter in my recent memory, there would be no baseball or basketball game on TV.  In fact, there was no TV.  We facetimed each of my daughters and called a family member from Poland.  With three of us donning masks made by my sister Celia, we discussed how we’re all coping with the stay at home orders over a cup of tea.  There was no TV to create white noise, simply conversation and thoughtful discussion, making this an Easter unlike any of our recent past.

All of which led me back to my friend’s Facebook post as I sat at home later that evening.  There is no question everyone is impacted during these uncertain times, though some are suffering much more than others.  For those who are facing the loss of loved one, suffering from symptoms, missing paychecks, or delaying necessary medical treatments, they have no choice but to confront the wide range of emotions in an attempt to deal with their personal distress.  Now more than ever, these people need the support of all the resources available to them, most important from family and friends.  The other thing that we can all do is take control of our own personal lives and make the most of the hand we are dealt.  For if we manage this right, it can actually result in an array of positive changes, not only for the planet that we reside in, but also for each one of us individually. 

I have personally taken on the challenge to do two things: prepare myself to avoid catching and potentially spreading the virus, and strengthen my immune system in the event that I do catch the virus.  Rather than simply worrying and waiting for a vaccine or a cure, we can take this time to enhance our lifestyles; eat the right foods, stay hydrated, take up yoga, go on daily walks, find something that we can both enjoy and benefit from.  Equally important is one’s mental health and outlook.  As Anna Maria so astutely showed, now is a chance for many to step away from our normal hectic lifestyles and go back to the simple things that bring us peace and enjoyment.  Take the time to read a book, reach out to family and friends, help someone in need, write, paint, try something that you’ve never done. Anything where you can express yourself and feel a sense of accomplishment.  Finally, exercise and get sleep.  All of these personal choices are vital to both our overall happiness and our fight against this deadly virus.

The reality is, we will eventually get through this and things will turn back to normal.  But this is our one opportunity to create a new normal that is even better than the one we left behind.  We now find ourselves with a unique opportunity to make changes both big and small.  On an aggregate level, we can confront the social inequities that further hindered our response to this virus, combat the climate changes that may now be receiving an unexpected reprieve, and have the world and nation come closer together during a time of division.  On a personal level, we can improve our overall health, better manage our finances by avoiding waste and limit spending on unnecessary items, and get back to the simple things that we were all taking for granted in a materialistic world.  If we lose this opportunity and simply go back to the way things were, then we will have suffered a double loss and delivered an unforgivable disservice to all who have suffered or lost their lives during this pandemic.    

How do I express this to my Facebook friend, a loving person who has so much to give and live for?  How do I let her know in just a few words that she does not have to be afraid or feel broken without sounding like I’m lecturing?  I sent a simple response. Nothing at all profound or memorable. I was pleased when she responded almost immediately with a love emoji, followed by a message of thanks which let me know that she was okay.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make a difference, just a few simple words to let someone know that you listened and care.  So, I share this same message with you during this time where we all find ourselves confronting a common enemy as we seek new ways to bring meaning to our lives: 

Now is a difficult time for everyone. I hope that you can find some peace and solace, spirituality and meaning on this holy day, and don’t forget to laugh and find joy wherever you can.

Stay safe, and lets all do our part to get through this pandemic and help make the world a better place.