About emotions…

 

         I sit at a table and play with my Dearest a game of “remik”. I throw a card, she takes it and puts down her hand – remik! She is joyous, laughs, but I am angry at myself: how could I make this play? I throw the cards, almost get an apoplexy, and yet we play for no stakes. Where is this anger coming from? In a little while we start to laugh and continue to play like nothing ever happened.

         I sit at the table and listen to a conversation, and actually to a violent discussion of two friends (about political issues). They call each other stupid and idiots, interrupt each other every moment and are almost ready to hit each other. Both friends are well educated and well-bred, but the emotions win. Why can’t they converse peacefully, without name-calling? It is obvious that their arguments are not convincing enough. Maybe that is the reason they lose their cool? One would think that in this beautiful and wonderful world in which we live everybody has a right to his beliefs, religion and opinions (unless it harms others). And yet, it would be better if they would think the way we think, because we are right and things should be according to our  thinking (and to our wishes). OK, but what does this have to do with emotions?

         When I was yet a child my mom often reminded me to control my feelings (emotions). She did not explained why, it was supposed to be obvious for me. On the other hand, my instructors were teaching me as a student of music to perform with a lot of expression, because this is what listeners like. There are countless examples of how important emotions are in our lives: he wears his heart on his sleeve, he has a poker face (meaning one cannot read him), love your neighbor as yourself, he crushed his opponent without mercy, happy as a baby, and so on and on. Only, nobody taught me about emotions, which are good and which are bad, is it possible to control emotions, and how. Yes, I learned what are phlegmatic and cool-headed people, and sometimes later I also learned that genes affect my reactions, but the questions about emotions were left unanswered…

         Some time ago I bought a book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman because the title intrigued me – really, the intelligence of emotion? The book was resting on a shelf, because there were so many other, more interesting books that went through my hands…

Finally it was time to read this book. I found a lot of interesting information within this book. Among other things I learned that over two thousand years ago Aristotle asked himself the same questions I did. And, that there is nothing unusual about our limited knowledge regarding emotions, because only just recently technology has developed enough for us to peek into the human brain (alive). This led to discovery that brain can be divided into the emotional part, and into the intellectual part. Part of the brain deals with emotions, and the other part deals with reasoning and everything connected with it, such as analysis, synthesis, memory and inferences. These two parts cooperate with each other, but the emotional brain reacts much quicker, like lightning, because it is our primordial brain necessary to our survival. Most of the research was done on the part of brain that directs the emotion of fear. The brain circuitry dealing with fear was documented in detail. The scientists found from where and to where signals dealing with fear are going, and where the decisions regarding fear are made. Lesser known are the ways signals dealing with other emotions travel, but progress is being made. There are discussions among scientists on how to divide emotions into different groups. The most basic emotions are probably fear, anger, sadness and joy, because they are recognizable by all societies around the world. When the photographs of faces expressing these emotions were shown to the members of a primitive tribe from New Guinea they had no problem recognizing these emotions, even though the tribe is almost completely isolated from our civilization. According to the author, each of us receives through our genetic heritage several emotions which determine our temperament, but the brain circuitry is extraordinarily malleable and as children we can learn in home and in school to control our emotions. The author calls such control of emotions emotional intelligence. To be more exact, emotional intelligence is the ability for self-control, zeal, persistence, and self-motivation. Being able to control one’s impulses is the basis for strong will and character. The lack of such control leads to moral deficiencies.

         The idea that emotions may and should be controlled was embraced by educators in the USA (and in other countries) and they started to implement in school curricula programs called “Social and Emotional Learning” (SEL). These programs help school children to minimize their problems by promoting character education, violence prevention, drug prevention, and school discipline. Research shows that these programs bring positive results. And so it turns out my mom was right, but at least I now know why.

 

Joseph Hart