To return or not to return? That is a Hamlet style question being asked by people living abroad, for which there is no simple answer. Nevertheless, I would like to share with the readers some thoughts regarding this subject based on my own experience, and let me state at this point that it will not be a critique of Poland. I simply want to write about the similarity of assimilation challenges facing those leaving Poland and arriving in a new country, with the process of returning back to the homeland and re-assimilation. The process of getting to know our new country enough to establish a conventional lifestyle and the challenges of getting reacquainted with the old and its evolving customs. I am not categorizing or judging the differences, which is better or worse, for those are a product of tradition, culture, affluence, legal obligations and other elements.
My observations began with the beginning of my retirement and a trip to Warsaw for the purpose of remodeling of our apartment, which we were able to keep despite then Communist government’s attempts to confiscate it. It was a fully paid for private property, but to the authorities of that time, this had little significance. However, through a legal maneuver of transferring the ownership deed to a near family member, we managed to save it. The first steps began with reclaiming the ownership. I had no clue where to start, despite being educated and a history of working in Poland in the legal field. The system and laws have changed and I did not feel like spending hundreds of dollars from my retirement budget, so I visited the government agencies in quest of information about what to do and where to do it. Learning quickly, in a matter of a week, I got the ownership document.
And now a question: who among you ladies and gentleman knows how transfers utilities in Poland: electricity, gas, telephone or cable TV? Anyone thinking a phone call will make that happen in a day or two is sadly mistaken. I would not recommend trying it without someone’s local assistance; for what’s needed is walking, riding, waiting in line and gathering paperwork. It demands lots of time and patience, which were necessary for just about everything I needed to accomplish. I was learning about Poland anew.
The remodeling project had some funny moments. I went to the store to buy some paint. After selecting a color, I asked the associate for a semigloss finish and he looked at me as If I was’t quite right. Sensing that, I tried to explain what I needed. After a long pause, listening to me carefully, he determined that I must be looking for an emulsion type paint, to which I replied — yes , of course — for that’s how I remembered it being called in Polish. He then went on to say that semi-gloss is not sold because it’s not made in Poland.
It was worse with the window and door replacements. I went from a firm to firm in the business of selling and installing these products, asking for windows opening sideway with a stop to prevent slamming in case of a draft; and kept being turned away with “We don’t sell such windows” even though I recalled them being available. Eventually it was explained to me that the new windows do open to the side and also open from the top with, a controlled stop width. Those windows turned out to be excellent. I also found out that Poland holds many international patents in that production, and so, I kept learning about everything from the beginning.
My getting sick over a long weekend started another quest to find the proper help. The prospect of going to a hospital emergency room was not appealing, for I was told about the long hours of waiting, and questioned my care, without the Polish insurance policy. Acquaintances recommended calling for an ambulance because that’s what they did, but after a long internet search I found a doctor who made house calls. It turned out that he probably received his diploma by mistake, but let’s move on. I survived the weekend and wound up in a private clinic. It seems to me that in smaller towns, where the people know each other, things might be easier, or maybe harder, if the only local doctor decides to leave for a long weekend. I’m describing what I went through point by point because we can run into the similar problems every step of the way — for example — monetary transactions like shopping in a store and finding an item that costs 179 zlotych. Is this a lot or little? And the mental exchange calculation begins. It takes time to transition to dealing in a foreign currency.
Of all the challenges, I consider the most important matter being that of the family and friends. It becomes apparent that the friends from the playground, school, college or work, now have new acquaintances with their own issues and problems, so, after a few minutes of conversation there is not much to talk about. They live in a different world, have different experiences and different outlooks on life. Some have passed away, some have moved away and the contacts were broken. The relationships with the family are not much better. It bothers us that they just don’t get what is obvious to us, and consider our brought from the abroad opinions, worthless. Undoubtedly, this is not helpful in strengthening the family ties.
The decision to return should not be made based on a few weeks visit, as a guest under the care of family and friends. The endless receptions, gatherings and excursions are not the true representation of a realistic lifestyle. I advise all those who are thinking about the permanent resettlement, do not “close the shop” here, before renting an apartment in Poland for half a year or so, and living there like everybody else. The decision to move, an act difficult to reverse, should only be made after experiencing the ‘normal’ life in the country. I’m not advising ‘for’ or ‘against’ for we have different reasons, with matters of more or less importance, driving our decision making process. I’m just concerned the decision should be based on the broadest possible experience and knowledge. Anyway, Poland is beautiful and for some, living there will be better and easier, which is what I wish for all of those returning.
Translated by Julian Boryczewski